hurray the sky is falling i said hurray

(notice this entry contains quite a bit of info of how my life as flip flopped probably for the good its to soon to tell. i address many topics this is going to be a long entry because i might not have one like this for awhile. new photographs coming soon)

This month I have a load of things falling out of the sky trying to bring upon my demise. Lucky I'm not one to worry even if its big problems that arise in my life. I feel i have seen so much shit that i forgot what worrying really feels like. I'm looking at things with a whole different out look, with out having a job to go to during the day and a home to rest my legs. I have found a nice soft landing made grass,nice steady breeze of air, and beautiful lake front of Chicago. For this all the things that are falling from the skies are only hitting that nice spot of softness and seeping within it never to stay on the top of my mind. If you chose not to see it then it doesn't excess . So all these problems that i have to face i have hidden in a place tell i can control them just enough that i do not break. I have this middle ground that i thought i lost this spring but it has returned at the perfect time. There is so much i over looked in the past, I know now in my life i just need to enjoy what i can do alone. I have taught myself to do task in life with out having company of others to come along. My day to day process is a glorious one with entitles so.

1. wake up on a close friend or someone i sometimes talk to at social gathering's couches(sometimes early morning or early afternoon depending on the time they awake or the time i fall asleep at night)

2. ride around Chicago doing some pointless task and some need to do stuff

3. arrive by the lake shore with my bag that contains my life and a nice book(at this time being mostly any book by Kurt Vonnegut * slapstick as of now*)

4. head back to the west side around 8 when the sun goes down hopefully to get together with the person ill be crashing with. If its Thursday or Sunday i end up at a local dive bar for 4 dollar pitchers and company of others. other days i just play it by ear.

sometimes ill throw a free bike,movie,music event in there once a week. this week it was the bike film fest,midnight ride, movie in a vacant lot, and music at the park.

today while eating my fortune cookie as i always do as most people I'm sure do i glanced a little bit at my fortune and not to my surprise really it had told me something i already knew or which is probably true for most.

"the current year is going to be a happy one"

which despite all that is going on this year it is still defiantly a happy one. i have happiness for people i love and loved or still love as much as it makes me feel like a 12 year old girl because i guess in a way I am.. from what i have come to find 12 is a good age to meet your first love mine came a little later so that brings me to feeling 12 in love which i never did when i was 12 and could be in love. I have no shame for life, no fears, I m not sad for myself and do not expect anyone to worry about what road I'm heading down... i have always solved any problems alone and this one the big stuff will once again be handled alone. I take a lot of joy from disaster its a little bit of energy that i would truly miss if it ever left.

another topic....

while sitting out today by the lake i took my pen and nice grid sketchbook out to create a few random drawings so more humorist then others and so....

Fam treeez..

a little child like humor behind this the walnut(seasonal) is the mother,trunk is the father so it only makes since to place the tree within a walnut this the two creates the rest (children). making it a very thoughtful family tree even a a little for me this is why i chose fingers as the branches because i can count all my siblings on one hand 2 sisters and 2 brothers, then me.

Moon mt.

this is located on the far ride side of my mind i like to think of that side as my hiding place.

current music:

John Vanderslice-To Much Time

Palo- The Morning linda dies

Camera Obscura- Lloyd, I'm ready to be heartbroken

Mirah-bones and skin

Julie Doiron- When brakes get wet

Now Now Every Children- cars,everyone you know

Chad Vangaalen- echo train